self longing void

of longing, the void and the self.

In one of our usual existential conversations, a friend of mine said to me, “I feel like I am always waiting for something. But I don’t know what it is.” While I told her that I could relate it got me thinking about what this feeling actually is. After a bit of pondering, I arrived at a probable answer. Longing. A melancholic descend into nothingness. You feel it in the oddest of places. In a room full of people. During a long car ride. In the middle of the aisle in a grocery store. You feel something is missing. But what?

It’s like in the movies when they show the subject’s point of view in slow motion. He looks at things around him, people talking and laughing but a soundtrack plays over what they’re saying. So the subject feels disconnected. But even in this moment of disconnection, you feel aware, of your self and your presence.

Longing can make you feel a void even in the moments of extreme happiness. As if you’re not whole. It leaves you feeling unfulfilled; like you should be doing more. It urges you to take action. To fill the void.

Perhaps longing is a special state of consciousness. Or it is a way to continue man’s quest for more. Maybe longing is a necessity for the evolution of self. Of the mankind. It’s a fact that great art, great inventions and great movements come from a place of lacking. A realization that what is, is not enough.

So maybe the connotations need to change. Maybe longing isn’t so bad a state and the void isn’t as scary a place as we imagine. No matter how uncomfortable they make us feel, let’s learn to embrace them. To draw energies from them. For they keep us moving. They dispense stagnation. For we long, therefore we are.


  1. Beautifully expressed!!

    • The Hamster Ball

      Thank you <3

  2. Interesting!! Oh, and love the picture you painted with the not hearing the people around you in slow motion! Great piece!

    • The Hamster Ball

      Thanks a bunch. <3

  3. Great post and I completely agree. I’ve often felt lonely when surrounded by people. X

    • The Hamster Ball

      Come again <3

  4. It aptly reminds me of the concept of the “Cogito” by Rene Descartes as he states: Cogito, ergo sum meaning “I think, therefore I am…..”longing is thinking paving way to diversity in life–as proof of the reality of one’s own mind; there must be a thinking entity-in this case the self-for there to be a thought. Very nicely placed. Bravo!

    • The Hamster Ball

      Thank you so much. A comparison with Rene Descartes is huge!

  5. This is beautifully written. You’re so right in many ways. I avoided reading this the first time because I was trying to come to grips with something I didn’t want to admit but now I am so glad I read it!
    This is honestly so expressive and flowy. I love it!

    • The Hamster Ball

      Thank you Jess <3 Hope your Insta Video issues are resolved hehe.

  6. Great post! I never thought about longing in this way.

  7. Lovely post! Completely agree.

  8. This is a great read. Thank you for expressing this emotion so eloquently. Lovely picture too. Is it yours?

    • The Hamster Ball

      Aww thank you for reading! No, the picture is not mine hehe

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